A couple of chaps were driving around on a Sunday evening looking for toilet paper – they were planning on cornering the black market for the 4 ply variety. Unfortunately they couldn’t find any toilets to steal from. So they decided to rob a bank instead. They drove their (stolen) Land Rover into the window of my local branch of the Metro bank aiming to empty the ATM machines of cash. Unfortunately for them, the cash machines were mostly out of cash at the end of the weekend. So they stole all the complementary ball point pens the bank lays out for customers. The daring criminals are still at large. The Land Rover was a write off….