The Art Dealer, his Wife, the Grandfather, and the Russian model fortnum

Fortnum & Mason is a department store in London. It’s been around since Queen Victoria was knee high to an Indian fakir and hasn’t changed… Read More

Adult Diapers are better than Breakfast Cereal brexit

In a few days the people of the United Kingdom will vote in a referendum to determine whether to continue its membership in the European… Read More

The Pig, the Prime Minister and his Honourable Member

  The British Prime Minister is alleged to have stuck his privates into the mouth of a (mercifully dead) pig. David Cameron cocked up, but… Read More

Big Stinking Music Festivals

It’s officially the summer which means festival season is upon us.  This is an occasion when otherwise normal people trudge off to a weekend length… Read More

Vegetarians: What’s the Point? A Review of a Steak Restaurant.

When I grew up in Sri Lanka it was a largely rural, mostly vegetarian country.  The peasants were vegetarian out of necessity – meat was… Read More

If You are Brown, You Must Work in IT

The banqueting manager of the five star hotel came rushing out to greet the marketing director of our company.  The hotel was on a short… Read More

Martini Mandate’s Top 5 Indian Restaurants in London

Time was when the only decent food one could get in London was Indian.  Everything else was overcooked and drowned in gravy.  The quality of… Read More

Valentine’s Day Shaken and Stirred in New York, London, Cape Town and Colombo!

Saint Valentine was a third century saint associated with the tradition of courtly love.  Courtly love was practised in secret by the high born.  It… Read More

The London Transport Strike Forced Me to Visit a Whore House

There is a transport strike on in London which is making it very difficult for me to get to the Savoy for my pre-prandial cocktail…. Read More

Where Dirty Old Men Take Their Nieces to Lunch

There are only two kinds of people who take a late lunch in the City of London; City boys celebrating a deal by getting plastered… Read More

Monkeying Around with the Dog

Menu Dog! Taking a slow summer approach to writing I’ve asked a few friends to contribute pieces on their favourite summer haunts.  The first one… Read More

When Alcohol and Sex Don’t Mix

I drank an Oyster Martini.  It’s not a drink I ever wanted to have.  It sounds slimy and suspect.  However, I was in a good… Read More


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