Marxists, Beards and Follies
Sri Lanka has elected a Marxist president. He is described as a neo Marxist, which is what you call a revolutionary who’s shaved his beard. The problem is that the new Sri Lankan president retains his beard. He is the real deal – the hammer and the sickle, the unrepentant Bolshevik, the genuine Gauloises smoking, beret wearing, communist beardie who will bore you with the finer points of Leninism v. Trotskyism. I went to university with people like him. Most of them became investment bankers.
Bearded leaders haven’t done well in the modern era. One thinks of men like Che, Fidel and Arafat….These are not chaps celebrated for turning their countries into the next Singapore. They are useful cultural icons however, which comes with certain commercial benefits. Che’s family is reputed to have made a small fortune selling T-shirts and posters of his visage.
Back to Sri Lanka. The country is still recovering from the impact of Covid, bad governance, and street protests in 2022 that drove the incumbent President out of office. The usual electoral response to a crisis in most parts of South Asia is to throw out the ruling dynasty and replace it with the other dynasty. This time the people elected a rank outsider who now has an opportunity to create his own, Marxist dynasty. The Kims of North Korea provide a useful role model.
I was on holiday in Sri Lanka. Escaping electoral follies I went seeking follies of a more benign nature. My travels took me to Helga’s Folly nestled in the hills overlooking the ancient city of Kandy. Helga’s Folly is the family home (now a hotel and restaurant) of the rather splendidly named Helga De Silva Blow Perera. The decor is a riot of colours, with walls painted in vibrant murals, dripping candlesticks, and an overwhelming collection of art, antiques and photographs. The atmosphere is best described as Salvador Dali meets the Rocky Horror Picture Show. There is also a touch of Fawlty Towers about the place, and a touch of Ab Fab. It is bonkers – and great fun.
Helga’s home is a celebration of her family – and it is quite a dynasty. Her grandfather George was a national hero, part of Sri Lanka’s independence struggle against the British. His granddaughter married into the British aristocracy at age 17, with a wedding at St Paul’s Cathedral in London and a reception at Buckingham Palace. Helga’s aunt Minette was an architect who trained with Le Corbusier and hung out with Picasso. Her brother Sir Desmond, is married to Princess Katarina of Yugoslavia. Her daughter is London fashion designer Selina. Helga’s late daughter-in-law Isabella, a fashion editor at Vogue and Tatler, discovered Alexander McQueen. All of this family history is celebrated at Helga’s Folly with photographs, letters and memorabilia.
There are photographs of the young princes Charles and Andrew hanging out with Helga at her home. Her famous guests include Mahatma Gandhi, Jawaharlal Nehru and his daughter Indira, Vivien Leigh, Laurence Olivier, William Holden, Gregory Peck and others.
None of the illustrious men in her photographs wore beards.
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She’s been married not once
Not twice, but three
And that’s the livin’ lovin’ woman
I want me to be
There were pictures and paintings
Of freaks like me
So I drank with my devil
For my company
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A lyric from the Stereophonics’ 2003 hit Madame Helga which band member Kelly Jones wrote after his stay at the hotel.
Helga, now in her eighties, still lives upstairs and occasionally pops in on her guests, like the ghost of Christmas past. I stopped for lunch with the actor formerly known as Cost Centre Number 2. The food, a fusion of Sri Lankan and western cuisines, was unspectacular but decent. The bread basket of Pol (coconut) Rotis was outstanding – we could happily have made an entire meal of them.
They also make a decent Gin Fizz, my go to cocktail in Sri Lanka. It is an alcoholic variant of the ubiquitous lime and soda drunk throughout the tropics. Add a shot of gin, a shot of freshly squeezed lime juice, sugar syrup to taste, and a splash of soda to a highball glass filled with ice. Stir gently and serve garnished with a slice of lime. It is the perfect summer drink – long, tart, and refreshing.
Helga’s Folly though delightfully quirky, is run down and tired. The bedrooms, accessed through a long, spookily dark corridor straight out of The Shining, are glamorous, but badly in need of a proper scrubbing.
Don’t stay here, but do visit.
The same recommendation applies to the entire country – don’t plan on immigrating here anytime soon, but do visit. The country is an absolute delight, with beaches, mountains, history, fabulous food and friendly natives.
Politically, Sri Lanka is entering the great unknown. The consequences of Marxism are well known, and not pretty. Previous to his current gig the only thing the new President has run is a riot. It is unclear whether that provides transferable skills in government. He is supported by a motley crew of academics and vegetarians. It doesn’t portend well, but perhaps it really will be different this time. Perhaps it will deliver a badly needed reset for the country. Or perhaps the Marxists will shave, open personal bank accounts in Switzerland, and life will go on.
