Long haul flights are excruciatingly boring. If you are a frequent flyer you’ve already seen all the movies. The quality of the food ranges from forgettable to “why did I even bother”, and the cabin crew can’t make your favourite cocktail. Then there is the Mile High club. There is a certain frisson of excitement about bending your partner over the toilet and attempting to conclude business without straining a groin muscle. If your partner suggests you piss off at the mere suggestion of a romantic entanglement in the lavatory, you could always revert to the WingMan app. WingMan uses the aircraft’s WIFI system to find you a fellow passenger to get jiggy with. Think of it as Tinder for the skies.
Since the advent of the Airbus 380 “Super Jumbo,” joining the mile high club has become much easier. For the price of a small car, you too can have a private broom closet in the sky to share a Boris Becker moment with that special someone. So there you are at 30,000 feet with broom closets full of rich retirees on Viagra celebrating their anniversaries. The mile high club somehow became a lot less appealing.
I was on a Qatar Airways Airbus A380 bound for the middle east. Unable to sleep and feeling thirsty I wandered into the bar. The bar on a Qatar Airways A380 is a warm and inviting place, with a curved wooden counter and plenty of comfortable leather seating (complete with seat belts). There is something very James Bond-like in ordering a martini at a bar on a plane. I tried hard to channel Sean Connery and ignore the small children playing with their Legos. The gaggle of very attractive stewardesses in the bar had no idea how to mix anything more complicated than a glass of wine. Fortunately they were eager to learn and suggested that I conduct a cocktail masterclass at 30,000 feet. Somewhere along the way other passengers traipsed in and I started mixing Mile High Martinis. Watch the video below!