Are Environmentalists the new Catholics? And what do they drink?

Non Americans looking upon the hugely entertaining spectacle of the US Presidential election campaign are befuddled by the importance of religion in America. On the right side of the pond the only people who are religious are recent immigrants and senior citizens cramming for their finals. The rest are mostly C&E Christians; they go to church on Christmas and Easter. It is indeed staggering that some normal, educated, not outwardly loony people in America believe that some dude made the world up in six days and then went fishing. No matter. It is all a matter of faith and people are entitled to believe in something. In the post religious world that most of us occupy, the new religion is environmentalism. It has all the hallmarks of a religion; dubious science, the threat of damnation and apocalypse, as well as some dodgy high priests.

The eco religionists can be identified by their beards and their vehicles; either a Toyota Prius or one of those tiny Indian battery operated death traps. They like to talk about recycling. I lunched with a few of them recently in St John’s Square, Clerkenwell, at a restaurant run by a Lesbian Kiwi chef, which is the kind of thing they like. We were joined by Starkers the well known Soho streaker, and He Who Cannot Be Named because he is always strictly off the record.

The Modern Pantry is the creative, exuberant kind of place that you couldn’t have found in London ten years ago. Anna Hansen who opened Providores with Peter Gordon cooks Asian fusion cuisine of a sort rarely done well outside of the Antipodes. Dishes like her prawn omelette with sambal and her Singapore style crab with coconut flatbreads are complex and bursting with flavour. The wines are well matched and reasonable. The week-day £20 two course lunch is a bargain.

This part of Clerkenwell has had a slow burn to gentility following a few colourful centuries. This was the centre of Dickensian London in the nineteenth century. In the early twentieth century it was the hotbed of radical thought and communism. Lenin published his magazine Iskra (Spark) here in 1902 and had meetings with a young Josef Stalin at the Crown and Anchor pub, now called the Crown Tavern.  The area went into decline after the war (together with the rest of Britain).  Its revival (together with that of the rest of Britain) started in the Thatcher years and continued during the dot com boom. Restaurants and drinking holes followed soon after. Within a stone’s throw of the Modern Pantry are some excellent food and drink venues including the Zetter Hotel with its excellent Bruno Loubet restaurant, the newly opened Zetter Townhouse and the Giant Robot.

The Zetter Townhouse. Photo courtesy Jefferson Smith

Bonkers decor

Seeking a postprandial cocktail we walked into the Zetter Townhouse.  The bar here is run by Tony Conigliaro and Camille Hobby Limon whose other bar, 69 Colebrook Row, I previously reviewed in The Tale of the Socialist and the Good Looking Waitress.  The decor is seriously bonkers – a Dickensian melange of your maiden aunt’s musty living room and a taxidermy. There is red patterned wallpaper and wooden floors with lots of rugs.  A fire crackles invitingly.  Chairs have arms covered in burlap sacking.  There’s a bunch of paintings with landscape and hunting themes.  A stuffed fish is mounted on a wall.  A stuffed cat dressed in a Victorian gown and parasol stands over a stuffed bird. A table is scattered with rusty tin boxes. It’s eclectic,  perhaps even slightly disturbing. However, it grows on you as you spy yet another novelty. I reached for a drink.

The Flintlock and Les Fleurs du Mal

Needing something to settle my stomach I went for the old standby – Fernet Branca, sometimes fondly described as a black licorice flavoured Listerine.  The drink I chose was called a Flintlock and is made with Beafeater 24 gin, gunpowder tincture, sugar, dandelion and burdock bitters and the aforementioned Fernet Branca.  Our waitress flamed my drink with a cotton wick to bring out the traces of gunpowder.  The resulting cocktail is delicate and slightly sweet with bitter afternotes.  There is a hint of gunpowder (never having actually tasted gunpowder I can’t be certain) on the palate.  A slightly bitter but pleasant aftertaste lingers.

Next on the menu was a drink called Les Fleurs du Mal (flowers of evil), a reference to Baudelaire who no doubt would have approved of our Bacchanalian debauchery. True to form the drink includes rose vodka, lemon juice and absinthe.  There is raw egg white which is beaten into a thick, creamy head.  The first impression is of creaminess, followed by the licorice notes of the absinthe.  The rose flavour of the vodka is hidden.  The lightness of the flavours lull you into forgetting the drink’s potency; it’s delightful.

The drinks list here is inventive and tempting.  However, the beardies were complaining that they hadn’t recycled anything yet, so we had to leave.  Our bill came inside an old volume of Dickens.

Come visit St John’s Square on a sunny afternoon.  There’s a great choice of food and cocktails.  Once you’ve had enough to drink you can ignore the beardies.

Further Reading

The Modern Pantry Reviews
A Girl has to Eat
No Expert but I Know What I Like

Zetter Townhouse Reviews
The Cocktail Geek
Domestic Sluttery

Les Fleurs du Mal
Baudelaire’s original verses with their themes of eroticism and decadence

The Tale of the Socialist and the Good Looking Waitress

I was having a martini the other day with a friend who is a very successful serial entrepreneur. We discussed the lessons we’d learned in 2012.  One of his insights was that once a business grows to the point where you need to hire an HR (human resources) person, that is a clear signal to sell the company.  The reason being that most HR people end up throwing grit into the cogs of a successful business. They are well meaning and armed with processes, testing procedures and forms – but are generally clueless about what makes a business successful. There are exceptions to this rule and I personally know of some very good HR people; but then I have to say that or they’ll stop reading my blog!

The other thing that marks out HR people is that most could never find a proper job in a productive sector of the economy. I feel the same way about socialists. They too are worthy individuals who are generally clueless about anything that matters.  One of the problems with universal adult franchise is that some people actually vote for socialists. In the UK we have the socialist Labour party (for the benefit of my US readers the Labour Party in the UK is a bit like the Democratic Party in the US. Only worse).  Thankfully the Labour Party has been banished from power and their leaders, like all good socialists, are now in private equity.

When the socialists were in power they made Islington, the area of London where their leaders resided, a rather trendy place. It’s still a very nice place with good restaurants, a buzzy high street with a decent selection of interesting independent stores and desirable, substantial homes. Since Labour fell out of power and it’s last successful leader, Tony Blair, left for a tonier address, Islington is not talked about anymore. It’s restaurants don’t get reviewed by the media and fashionable people aren’t photographed going there. I think its long term residents prefer it that way.

Into this media blackout enters a rather daring little bar, 69 Colebrooke Row, which had managed to buck the Islington trend. It’s made it into most people’s list of top bars in London. Witness the rave reviews from the bloggers at Yet Another Gin, Gin Monkey, In Pursuit of Food and the happenings site Urban Junkies.

The minimalist interior of 69 Colebrooke Row. Photo courtesy of inpursuitoffood.com which also gave it a great review.

To find out what all the fuss was about I made the long trek to Islington, accompanied by a glamorous friend from south of the Mason Dixon line.

69 Colebrooke Row is off the main drag on a desultory street corner.  They make a big deal about being the Bar With No Name (because its name is its street address?  It has been so done before darlings, but then this is Islington). Inside it is dark with a 1950′s vibe.  There is soft, big band jazz on the stereo.  You blink to adjust to the darkness and realise you are in a very small room.  Most of the customers are seated at small tables set around two long red leather banquettes.  There is standing room for just a handful of people at the bar (and on the stairs where we ended up for a bit).  The whole place can accommodate 40-45 people at the most.  Do not come here with a large group.  The customers are mostly media types more at home in Shoreditch, but they are not here on business.  Or if they are, they are planning on screwing the people they do business with, in the nicest possible way.  This is a romantic bar.  The decor is minimal;   blackout blinds to keep it dark,  retro light bulbs with prominent filaments, an old Laguna Seca auto racing poster, a mirror with an ad for Campari, a Japanese woodcut.  That’s it.  69 Colebrooke Row is special not because of its decor – its the cocktails you come for here and the staff who make you stay.

The cocktail list is short but creative and requires some explanation from the wait staff.  Mason Dixie Chick and I both ordered a drink called the Sirocco.  It consisted of flint and peppercorn vodka, sugar, grapefruit oils and lemon peel.  It is an unusual and sophisticated drink.  The grapefruit is heavy on the nose, with the lemon peel and peppercorn flavours blending nicely on the palate.  We both found it slightly sweet but still likable.  I would have worked my way through the cocktail menu but more bars beckoned.  I will be back.

A word about the staff.  They helped paint the picture.  The waiters are formally attired in white coats and ties.  The waitresses are in black cocktail dresses with the odd bit of lace showing.  They are warm, friendly, extremely knowledgeable and universally good looking.  They also spoke English which is unusual amongst wait staff in London.

Sometimes I wonder what all the fuss is about a bar.  Fundamentally it is a simple business model; you have to find a good location, make the room comfortable and mix a few drinks.  You then hire some decent wait staff and charge as much as you dare.  So why do people rave about places like 69 Colebrooke Row?  Founder Tony Conigliaro, who is also the man behind the Zetter Townhouse has got the basics right. He has found the right mix of ambience, staff and cocktails to make his bar work.  He has also brought in an X factor, a little pixie dust that makes a place special, even magical for a period of time.  69 Colebrooke Row has had a storming run.  Go visit before the hoi polloi discover it.  You might even run into some left over socialists.