Skip to content

Christmas with Tupac

Merry Christmas! Even those of us who don’t celebrate the birth of Christ love a good party. Egg nog, Santa Claus, carols; what’s not to like about this holiday? Cross out (no pun intended) attending mass and there are no downsides to celebrating Christmas like a proper red blooded Christian.

This Christmas in my homeland of Sri Lanka, this mostly Buddhist nation decided to build the world’s tallest artificial Christmas tree; the Guinness Book of Records has a lot to answer for. Unfortunately celebrations went somewhat awry when the organisers printed the wrong words to the Hail Mary, a traditional Catholic prayer. Instead of the usual homilies, the programme set out the lyrics to Tupac Shakur’s rap song Hail Mary:

“I ain’t a killer, but don’t push me
Revenge is the sweetest joy, next to pussy”

You can’t make this stuff up! Some poor printer’s assistant is doing a hundred genuflections and a thousand Hail Mary’s in penance. Meanwhile, a bunch of Catholic grannies are hunting down neighbourhood cats in search of the sweetest joy. christmas
The world’s tallest artificial Christmas tree is 73 metres (238 feet) in height

Back to Egg Nog, a much maligned drink sold by the pint in supermarkets. Made at home, the right mix is a delightful nutmeg flavoured egg custard, with 17th century origins. Don’t omit the raw egg – otherwise you might as well buy the supermarket version.  The alcohol in your drink should kill any bad bacteria.

2.5 shots cognac or dark rum
1/2 shot of gomme or sugar syrup (2 parts sugar to 1 part water)
1 raw egg (both white and yolk)
1/2 shot of single cream
2 shots of milk

(A shot is equivalent to 30ml or 1 fluid ounce)

Shake the ingredients with ice, strain into an ice filled glass and dust with grated nutmeg.

An interesting alternative is to use a shot each of cognac and dark rum, with a half shot of a medium bodied fortified wine like a madeira or a tawny port. I like using wine in a cocktail – after all the chap whose birthday we are celebrating was eventually capable of changing water into wine.

Whatever your faith or belief, I hope you are warmed by the company of family and friends during this festive season. Cheers. Peace on Earth. Merry Christmas!

(December 2016)

Subscribe to our email newsletter

Subscribe to get the best writing under the influence direct to your inbox.