I like cars but find it difficult to get excited about electric vehicles. They are allegedly good for the planet, fast, roomy, practical, the future etc. The problem is that they are just bloody boring, with all the sex appeal of an adult diaper.
And then came the Tesla Cybertruck. If car designer Marcello Gandini followed up his design for the Lamborghini Countach with a truck, this would be it. It’s crazy; all hard angles and impossible lines. Not conventionally attractive, it divides opinion – just like the Countach did. Just like the Countach you can’t see out the back of the Cybertruck, and you probably look a bit silly getting into one.
When I was a boy I had a poster of a Lamborghini Countach on my bedroom wall. That was what teenage boys of my era fantasised about. I also had a poster of Farah Fawcett on my wall, but that was a different fantasy.
I am now at a stage in life where I can afford some of those schoolboy fantasies, and find that the reality doesn’t always stand up to the legend. The Countach is a beast. You start the engine and a polar bear falls over. You don’t actually drive a car like this, you aim – and hope for the best.
The vehicle is finally nearing production and the first reviews are in. Most reviewers seem to be blown away – just like when they first saw the Countach. The technology is pretty cool, including steer by wire capabilities previously only seen on aircraft. It appears spacious and reasonably practical. I have ordered mine with the optional martini bar in the truck bed. Whether I can actually find the space to park it on a London street is another matter.
When I will actually take delivery is also unclear. Dates for delivery of a right hand drive version haven’t been announced and there appears to be some residual issues regarding EU/UK pedestrian safety legislation (the Cybertruck pretty much kills anything it hits). In the meantime, Cost Centre #1’s boyfriend returned from the launch of the Tesla Gigafactory in Berlin with a couple of bottles of Tesla beer. The beautiful, angular design of the bottles may be the closest I get to a desirable Tesla product for a few years.
In the meantime I shall raise a glass of Tesla beer to batshit crazy entrepreneurs and designers. Without them, life would be dull.